creepypastafandomcom-20200222-history
User talk:AMarbleHornet
Archive 1 Hey I hope you don't mind, I've made some minor changes to the formatting of your archive, because the way it had been copied made things look pretty weird (in the future, you can avoid this by using source mode, not VisualEditor). Let me know if you want it reverted, there's no changes to the actual content, just the way it looks. | creepypasta.wikia.com | I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! | [[User:Underscorre|'Under']][[User talk:Underscorre|'Scorre']] }} 19:24, September 16, 2015 (UTC) New Changes Hi, I am glad to see that you made some new changes to your page. I hope you have a great night. Hellhound iscariot666 (talk) 02:07, September 22, 2015 (UTC) Delphia Maps Hey, thanks for expressing an interest in doing a map of Delphia. All of the stories concerning the city of Delphia can be found by starting with this pasta and looking through the series: The Demon Tobit of Delphia. Let me know if I can be of further assistance with the looks and layout of Delphia, as the best blueprint for it is the one in my head. Best, Banningk1979 (talk) 02:08, September 25, 2015 (UTC) Maps Feel free to make it open to everybody. I feel like this will be great exposure for my stories and a great map. Thanks, Banningk1979 (talk) 17:13, September 25, 2015 (UTC) Delphia maps Hey, If you could credit them to me with my name, which is K. Banning Kellum, and maybe add banningk1979 off to the side, as my Creepypasta user name, that would be awesome. Also, if there is a way you can credit the story as well, The Demon Tobit of Delphia, that would be awesome as well. Thank you so much for doing this and taking an interest in my work. I think this'll make an awesome map. Banningk1979 (talk) 05:05, September 26, 2015 (UTC) For you other question Hey, thanks for reading The Demon Tobit of Delphia. To answer your question, I would love for you to put in as much content as you're willing to. If you want to add the other scenes before they arrive in Delphia, that would be amazing, and I would appreciate it. Also, if you want to see more into the world of Delphia, be sure to look through more of the Tobit series. There is a lot of other cool aspects to be found in the series. Reach out if you have any further questions, Banningk1979 (talk) 05:09, September 26, 2015 (UTC) Re: Your story was a fairly quick read, so I've got a fairly quick review for it. The issue I have with the story in relation to the character Hastur (is he the same as te Lovecraftian god, or is the name the only relation?), is that this story isn't about Hastur. It's about the kid Aegil manipulates. Sure, the story is titled "Hastur", and Hastur does play a role, he just isn't the focus of te story. So in a way, the title is misleading. I'm sure this is fairly obvious, but my point is that your door is wide open. You've given us details about Hastur, but we haven't really gotten into his personality or have any real idea why he's a demon. I'm not crazy about the idea of a "demon in training", as it seems to knock some of the ferocity out of the demons themselves. These are supposed to be unspeakable evil creatures, seeing how they have to be trained kind of dampens the horror for me. That said, the idea is certainly unique, and I think you should focus more on the events that led to this point, rather than the teaching on how to be a demon; to me, that sounds like it has more horrific potential. I didn't find the story particularly scary, but you did a good job of portraying the kids suicidal emotions. I think Hastur needs to reflect on his past in less vague terms and actually get into what led him there. I think that would be much better than focusing on training some other demon. Sure, the kids suicide is sad, but it isn't too creepy (since we know exactly what's behind it) and it doesn't give me any insight into Hastur or even Aegils characters. That's all I've got at the moment, let me know if you want further specifics or anything else. It was well written and grammatically clean, but I'm certain you already knew that. Cheers! Whitix (talk) 01:58, September 30, 2015 (UTC) Costume Contest Sorry for the delay, I had to get in touch with Jay and talk about good candidates for judges. Sure you can be a judge. I'd suggest looking over the previous contest to see if you're up for it and how voting will be handled. If you are, feel free to message me and we can add you to the list of judges. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:19, September 30, 2015 (UTC) :You think that's scary? Wait 'till the wet-mares set in later tonight. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:36, September 30, 2015 (UTC) Re: I know how cliche it is to say this, but the best thing you can do would be to turn to a family member or a close friend. These situations are typically made worse by posting it online (due to anonymity). I deleted the blog as I don't want someone to say something or try to start something. I would talk to someone who you can open up to about these sort of things. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:40, October 5, 2015 (UTC) :I find it hard to believe that everyone who would care is too busy. If you aren't aware, people tend to make time for this sort of thing. What's to lose in talking to them, even if it is just to tell them how you feel. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:39, October 5, 2015 (UTC) ::That's a possibility, but it's better than the alternative. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:25, October 5, 2015 (UTC) Yo Hey man, I couldn't help but read Empy's message and your response on his page. He's right, but if for some reason you can't find someone to talk to, I figure I can offer myself, a random person on the internet, if that means anything. Maybe you want a neutral perspective or someone to vent to. I get that. Offers open if ya want to take it. Whitix (talk) 03:24, October 5, 2015 (UTC) Nav Saw your message on Emp's page. You can add what's called a nav template at the bottom of your story to link to the next part. The template looks like this . When you put it on the first one, you can leave the previous title blank, and same goes for leaving the next title blank on the last of the series. If you want to see what it looks like, check out Banning's story, For Love and Hot Chocolate. Let me know if you have any other questions. Jay Ten (talk) 14:49, October 6, 2015 (UTC) :I wouldn't advise letting your guard down. Even if he/she doesn't show up, keep in mind that Princess Pete has relatives (I've never seen him/her, but I've heard rumors that his/her cousin, Promiscuous Pete, is far more disturbing). :Jay Ten (talk) 17:30, October 6, 2015 (UTC) A little Feedback Hey Hornet, Could you give me some feedback on a story I have written? I am thinking about using it for the contest and would like to know what you guys think. It is in WW and is titled Bedtime for my Daughter. Thanks, JohnathanNash (talk) 03:15, October 7, 2015 (UTC) Contests Contests have to be approved by admins before they can be submitted as per this post. 22:24, October 8, 2015 (UTC) Re: I'm sorry, but we currently have four other contests going (you are a judge in one of them) on right now and your contest really needs a lot of fleshing out (both in the premise, in the rules, in the schedule, and in the theme.). Look over the link I included above for an idea of what we're looking for. As for holding a monthly contest, one of the reasons this rule was made was due to the fact that we were getting flooded with contests and users weren't focusing their time and energy on them and producing lower quality stories. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:29, October 8, 2015 (UTC) i like your username. Emo Scars (talk) 20:22, October 12, 2015 (UTC)Emo Scars Thank you so much for your message. I am so glad I could help. I am really glad you get my sense of humor, it is either a hit or miss. As for my writing experience, believe it or not but my first story...ever..like in my whole life...was only a month ago. I have just had a rush of inspiration. I don't know how long it will last, but I am really enjoying this new found hobby. If you are interested in my aspects on religion check out my story Daemon, that is a really cool one I am proud of. I have been thinking about writing a blog about a new genre I would like kind of create...Biblical Science Fiction. I think people struggle with religion and faith that writing about it either negatively or positively is so beneficial. Anyways, enough rambling. Thank you for the message. http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:Witnessme/Creepypasta_Short_Story_Contest KillaHawke1 (talk) 03:31, October 19, 2015 (UTC) Genres I like I love horror fantasy. I actually just wrote one. It was something I just half-assed did and it turned out really good. I do my own artwork which helps me write the story. Day of the Worm Catholic school must be a challenge, I went to a Christian high school; worst four years of my life. But interesting enough, my very first story came about when I was about 10 years old. Having always been a skeptic even back then, I had to find some way to reconcile these beliefs I was being indoctrinated into something that made sense. Because if you didn't believe, you were hellbound. So I had that story in my head for a very long time. That story was The Sounding of the Fifth Trumpet KillaHawke1 (talk) 22:03, October 19, 2015 (UTC) Request For Critique I have just completed the latest chapter in The Last Day of October series. If you have time to review this story, I would very much like to hear some feedback from you. The Last Day of October--Short Hoggers --Mmpratt99 deviantart (talk) 01:53, October 22, 2015 (UTC) Re: Story After three messages, we tend to not spam user's talk pages with deletion messages. That being said, there were a number of issues present in your story. Starting with the basics, there really is no need to triple space your story, it just comes off as needless padding/stretching. Punctuation: listed items need punctuation: "Tools(:)", "Machete(.)"," Medkit, no bandages left/gauze(.)", "Pocket knife(.)", "About 30 (?) feet of rope(.)", "Body armor(.)", "Wool mask(.)", "About two days' worth of food"(.)", etc. Apostrophes missing from possessive words: "After a moments hesitation," Notes/dialogue need punctuation/quotations (")I'm fucked.(") as ell as Wesson's note. Wording: talking in passive voice: "Long ago had he lost his primary means of defense" A lot of fragmented sentences. Capitalization issues: "The key I've given you is a Skeleton key" Grammar: it's=it is, its=possession. " it's face.", "it's contents", "it's old wavy format.", "it's surface", etc. Story issues: there needs to be a lot more build-up of the story's background. While it doesn't need to be fully fleshed out, it does need more explanation/build-up. Lines like this: "William had lost all hope for safety and thus began to reason with madness." really come off as melodramatic. There really needs to be a lot more build-up and tension to make the story effective. Your story additionally feels very similar to one that we deleted a while ago that needed quite a lot of work. Adding in parts, while leaving a lot of issues that were present in the original doesn't help the overall quality. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:42, November 3, 2015 (UTC) :You still need admin approval/deletion appeal approval. As it stands, it still needs quite a bit of work. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:51, November 3, 2015 (UTC) Costume Contest Voting is now up, so take your time to review the entries and pick your favorite. We'll tally it up in a few days (depending on responsiveness) and determine the winner by majority vote. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:37, November 5, 2015 (UTC) :Yup, just pick your favorite (singular) and post a comment on that thread naming them (and giving your reason, should you so choose). The People's Choice award is for the community (you can still vote there as well.) I'll probably check in this weekend if you haven't selected your choice by then as we should probably wrap up the contest before too long. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:01, November 6, 2015 (UTC) New Tobit Story Hey, Just wanted to let you know that I have a new Tobit story out: Tobit: The Lady and the Maiden of Knowledge. Check it out! --K. Banning Kellum (talk) 04:26, November 23, 2015 (UTC) Re: Ah, my mistake. I came from another wiki that didn't have any quality standards and it was a mess to put things lightly. No one's work ever got comments or read because there were so many awful works and people didn't want to wade through all of them in the hopes of finding a single good one. That's why I like the quality standards here so much. You do what works best for you :) I just hope that you one day find that this place is what works best for you because it is always great having more talented people around writing stories. [[User:Doom Vroom|'Buckle up!']] [[User talk:Doom Vroom| I'm going to be popular]] 02:55, April 23, 2016 (UTC)